Q. We are attending the post-wedding party of 40-something friends who are tying the knot for the second time. They have children from previous marriages and have already lived together for a few years. They eloped to an island for their official ceremony, but now that they are back, they are hosting a party to celebrate with family and friends. What gift is appropriate?

• A. This is a chance to think outside the square a little and give traditional wedding gifts like homewares the flick (unless they request them via a registry, that is). People getting married for the second time tend to be less interested in scoring wedding loot than they might have been the first time around, when they were younger and had a less-established home.
• But you are attending an official celebration of this couple’s very special union, so it’s important to give a thoughtful, substantial present. This situation is perfect for an ‘experience’ gift – a voucher for something they can do together like a sunrise hot-air balloon ride; degustation at a fine dining restaurant; or a night’s accommodation at a romantic location. Or if they have a shared hobby which brought them together in the first place, you could think of a present that relates, such as DVD boxed sets of classic movies for film buffs, artwork for creative types, or vintage wine for those who appreciate an aged drop.