Previously, we brought you the low-down on who to invite; types of invites; and when to send them out. Now, let's look at wording; the ‘A list’ and ‘B list’ dilemma; and RSVP follow-up.

• How should you word the invitation?

  This all depends on the style of wedding you are having – you don’t want formal language for a barefoot on the beach ceremony; and likewise you don’t want a casual style invitation for traditional church nuptials. There are plenty of sites which will give you guidance – use these as a starting point, then vary the text as you wish. It can also be a good idea to look back at married friends’ invitations to see how they worded them.

• Is it OK to have an ‘A list’ and ‘B list’ of guests?

  Some bridal couples have been known to send out an initial round of invites, then wait for a few ‘no’ responses, before sending out the extra invites to so-called ‘B list’ guests. As far as etiquette goes, this is a no-no! The traditional wedding invitation rule is that all guests should receive their invitations on the same day (except for invitations travelling further via post such as to overseas guests).

• How do you follow up on RSVPs?

  Not replying to a formal occasion such as a wedding by the specified date is rude, but unfortunately, it happens a lot. So it’s likely you’re going to have to chase up some guests.
• Once the RSVP date has lapsed, give guests a few additional days before you follow-up on their attendance. This allows for any last-minute replies that may have been caught up in the snail mail system. Once a few days have passed, it’s absolutely fine to send your guests a reminder. An email, text or phone call should do the trick – be direct, along the lines of:
• “Dear Ben, We haven’t heard back from you about our wedding – if you could let us know whether you’ll be attending, that would be great, as we’re now finalising the numbers.”